me & the devil

over the past two days i have been having an unusual amount of #rape flashbacks/sensory memories/general unpleasantness. this is the worst it’s been in literal years, and i have NO idea what started it whatsoever, its just kind of…here and incredibly difficult to handle lmao



leviathanplay:

"asexuals can and often do enjoy sex, attraction and libido are different!" yea that’s nice, but let’s not ignore the fact that the majority of aces ARE sex-aversive. like can we pls not make the ace community as sex normative as literally every other single fucking community out there. can we please.



lieutenantbites:

*opens inspect element on a webpage* Ive accessed the mainframe



also: following more psychotic people has made my dash feel a lot better lately. maybe one day i will feel more open with talking about my own psychosis but ehhhhhh, maybe.



#pregnancy

like, fuck my obsessive thoughts/phobias though? i buy pregnancy tests way too often and worry my ass off even though i’m on birth control and on top of that most likely infertile due to other hormone fuckery/issues with my ovaries

there’s never a day where i don’t panic about it for at least a minute and sometimes it’s much, much worse and then there’s even days where a negative test doesn’t do anything to stop it

i am so scared of/disgusted by the concept htat i can’t get it out of my head. it’s not even the thought of rearing a child, though that’s a factor, i definitely don’t want kids

but it’s the thought of the…actual physical changes

basically if i ever found out i Was i would probably hurt myself pretty badly out of sheer panic and revulsion w/my body



considering asking around for a tarot-for-art trade again, needing an updated icon to go with, well, updated spiritual/kin stuff



oh, cool thing, i almost threw up at work (#emetephobia) not because of being ill like usual or anything but because on my last break dr phil was playing a god damned “mom who tried to kill herself and her autistic daughter” (#ableism #murder #suicide) segment with so much bullshit and i actually got verbally angry and luckily my other coworker in the break room agreed it was Shit and let me turn it off

hhhngh. i will become powerful and eat ppl like that




geminiio:

i need ferguson to go down in history books. i need school children in the year 2074 to learn about michael brown being shot on august 9th, 2014 by officer darren wilson. i need this to spark a movement. this can not lose the focus of society a mere month after it happened. 



my life consists of playing video games and communicating very poorly with living things that don’t meow or brux


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